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Child Development - How Do i Know If My Child Is Normal?
Congratulations, you're a new parent! The next few weeks/months/years will probably be the most hectic you've ever known. You'll have lots of questions.
A baby goes from helplessness to inquisitive toddler, to independent teen in a startling short time, but you also go on a steep learning curve. April Medibroker have got some advice about all the common challenges and information about developmental milestones.
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The world has become a smaller place and more people than ever are now living and working abroad. When looking at a potential move overseas, and the potential financial benefits, you also need to take into account the larger picture, the long-term prospects and what exactly you want out of life.
# 1 Newborn babies (0-to 1-month old)
The first month of a baby's life can feel like an eternity. Every worry you never thought you'd have suddenly come to haunt you. You're tired all the time, yet you have no time to do anything. Here are some tips to help you through the madness.
- Baby basics:
Nappies - Nappy changing doesn't have to be a chore. It's not always quick or clean, but it's an opportunity for eye contact and chats with your baby, as well as part of essential care.
As a rough guide, change your baby's nappy about as often as you feed him. If your baby is feeding very often, you don't need to change him every time, as small feeds don't generally warrant a nappy change.
The point of changing your baby's nappy is to protect his skin, which can become sore if it's allowed to stay in contact with wee or poo. So if you know your baby has had a poo, you'll want to change him as soon as you can, especially if his bottom is already a bit red or sore.
Dummies and comforters - Many children gain comfort from a dummy, blanket or favourite toy and it can help with settling at night, or getting over a difficult experience.
These objects take on the same soothing powers as you have for your child and are as hard to part with as letting you go.
Dummies are particularly powerful soothers as they allow your child to suckle, an activity they find very calming. Sucking is a very natural activity for a baby.
Children do grow out of using their comforters, and most toys and blankets do no harm unless they limit the play and learning opportunities your child has. For example, if your child is holding a toy and so can't do some play activities, try creative solutions such as using a special bag for the comfort object so his hands are kept free.
Bathing newborns - Scared? You needn't be. If the idea of a slippery baby and a bath tub fills you with dread, then remember it gets easier as time goes on.
It's a question of building your confidence and being prepared:
Have everything you need in advance - towel, toiletries, clean nappy, clothes. It's not safe to leave a baby or toddler alone in water, even for a second. If you've forgotten something, or if the phone rings, you must take your baby out of the water and wrap her in a towel to keep warm, then take her with you.
Put cold water in the tub first, and then hot. This reduces the chance of scalds. Test the water with your elbow (as hands can bear very high temperatures) before you put your baby in. It should feel comfortably warm.
Newborns and feeding - Some mums are determined to breastfeed their babies, some opt to combine breast and bottle, while others bottlefeed exclusively
Feeding your baby can be very rewarding and a time to enjoy a real feeling of closeness. Babies get far more than just nutrition from a feed - they enjoy the cuddle, the comfort and the satisfaction of a full tummy.
In addition, feeding your baby has an impact on his health, not just in infancy but in the long term, too.
In the UK, most mums start off breastfeeding. Breastmilk supplies all the nutrients your baby needs for about first six months and it's the normal, physiological way to feed a human baby. Take the opportunity in pregnancy to talk about your feeding preferences and get the most up-to-date information you can.
Research shows that babies who aren't breastfed have a higher risk of infection, and are more likely to spend time in hospital during their first year. This difference does not depend on the social or economic status of the baby's family - the gaps in health persist even when these factors are taken into account.
But it's not enough to know that breastfeeding gives your baby a better start. Many mothers need help and support to breastfeed, and access to good information to overcome problems.
If you don't breastfeed, for whatever reason, then your baby will need infant formula milk.
Mixed feeding - giving your baby formula milk as well as breastfeeding - can be a way to maintain some breastfeeding if you return to work, or if breastfeeding alone isn't working out for you.
Because you need to breastfeed often to keep up a supply of milk, mixed feeding can lead to breastmilk production dwindling sooner than you wish. Talk to a breastfeeding counsellor, or other knowledgeable person, to help you work out a plan that suits you.
# 2 Babies (0-to 12-month-olds)
Baby feeding - All babies are different and knowing when's the right time to stop breastfeeding and start moving your baby onto formula milk, or start weaning them is a personal decision.
Weaning - This is the process of adding non-milk foods to your baby's diet. It's not an exact science and it gets pretty messy, but it's a rewarding experience for you and your baby, and essential for their healthy growth, babies' needs are individual - some need food a little sooner, and others are fine on milk only for a little longer.
You can offer your baby a range of foods, as long as she can manage them. A lot of parents begin with purees, but this isn't essential. From around six months onwards, your baby can use her fingers and hands to bring food to her mouth, and this 'baby-led' weaning approach is a good way of helping her learn the connection between taste, appearance and texture.
- Weaning tips:
- Don't rush your baby - give her as much time as she needs to feed
- Make sure you're both relaxed before you start to feed
- Feed your baby on your lap or in a high chair
- When introducing new foods, try to mix them in with familiar ones
- Go at your baby's pace and don't be upset if she refuses the food - she'll get used to the idea in time
General health - how do you recognise whether your baby's started teething, is suffering from colic, and which jabs your child will be offered, when and why.
Babies and immunisation - All babies are born with a little natural immunity to disease, but immunisation can offer considerable additional protection against certain serious illnesses. Without immunisation, children are much more vulnerable to serious infections such as meningitis C and polio. Child health specialists agree that the benefits of immunisation far outweigh the small risk of side-effects.
Immunisation begins at two months, even if your baby is born prematurely. This is when a baby's natural immunity to illness, obtained from the mother, begins to diminish.
Colic - Colic is quite common, but no one knows exactly what it is. The medical definition is crying in a healthy, normally developing baby, which seems unrelated to pain or hunger, and which occurs most days or evenings over a period of time. Typically, colic starts in the first month, and goes on until your baby is three months or so.
It's not known why some babies are affected more than others, or why it sometimes suddenly disappears. It could be to do with immaturity of the gut, and as the baby's digestion matures, they become more able to tolerate the sensations of digestion. Alternatively, it may be bubbles of trapped wind, causing discomfort.
Teething - Teething should be a normal part of physical development, no more stressful than growing hair. But it's often a cause for concern for some babies.
Some babies are born with teeth, some get their first teeth (milk teeth) from about six months old, while others will have still have no teeth by the time they're one. It varies. But most children will have all their milk teeth by the time they're two-and-a-half and will begin to get their first 'second' teeth at the back when they are six years old.
Studies have shown that babies are more likely to suffer a slight rise in temperature when teeth come through the gums. And, for a number of babies, this can make them a little irritable, more inclined to wake up crying at night, more liable to drool and dribble, and needing more soothing and comfort.
Teething takes the blame for all sorts of baby complaints - from bad temper and a runny nose to rashes, crying, and extra dirty nappies. Be sure you check with your doctor or health visitor if you're concerned about your baby's behaviour, and don't just put it down to 'teething'. Teething shouldn't make babies ill.
You may find your baby's gums become red and sore, one cheek may be more flushed, and she may seem more fretful. Dribbling and gnawing is also a common complaint. Again this may not necessarily mean your baby is 'teething' but there are ways to ease your anxiety and your baby's discomfort.
# 3 Toddlers (1-to 3-year-olds)
Up to the age of three, children are working out where they fit in the world and how much control they have over it.
Emotional development - The journey towards becoming an independent adult starts in babyhood, with your child wanting to try things for himself. You may find it hard to keep up when your child switches from being demanding one minute to being clingy and afraid to let go of you the next. Such rapid mood swings are common - and may even take your toddler by surprise sometimes!
It helps to try to understand the emotional world of a small child and the confusion they often feel.
Life with toddlers is full of love, laughter and wonderful times, as well as more difficult moments. Keeping a positive attitude and concentrating on the fun side of your toddler's life can lift your spirits, even when you're feeling down. Make an effort to join in her play and find time to laugh together. Enjoy activities together whenever possible - at the playground, in your garden or just at home in front of the TV.
Vow to enjoy your toddler - these years are over all too quickly and many parents feel real regret when school days begin.
# 4 Children (4-to 9-year-olds)
Between the ages of four and 9, children often copy the behaviour they most admire, so it's an important time to work on self-esteem, before the onslaught of adolescence! You may well breathe a sigh of relief when school days come along, but this age can still present parenting challenges.
Children and discipline - Tackling your child's bad behaviour can be difficult at the best of times. Life is, in many ways, much harder for your school age child than when he was a toddler. Many adults no longer see children of this age as 'cute' and expectations to behave well are very powerful, both from you and teachers. There can also be criticism from friends, teachers and you when your child gets things wrong.
Misbehaviour in school age children may also have a more complicated basis. A seven year old may constantly break things because her co-ordination is still not perfect, but she may do it to attract your attention to the fact she's finding it tough to live up to all the complicated new rules in her life.
Too many orders such as: "Do this" and "Don't do that", and being quick to criticise: "How could you?" and "Don't be so stupid", can be very hard to take for a child.
Emotional development - Praising your child goes a long way. A child with good self-esteem has the confidence to try new things and make friends, and has stronger relationships with you and others.
Things you say about yourself can damage your child's self-esteem. Children learn a great deal from copying adults close to them. If you overreact to situations or pressure, your child may worry you really can't handle life's challenges. This won't set your child an example of a positive, optimistic attitude to life and how to handle problems.
Think before you speak and choose your words with care - it's very easy to say something without thinking, and then wish you hadn't. "You're so clumsy" or "Don't be stupid" can be said in an irritated moment when the cereal is spilled or an innocent question is asked. Too many negative remarks like this can result in children believing they're useless or stupid.
Starting school - Can be liberating as well as daunting for both of you. In the first few days your child will face new places, people, rules and relationships. This can be both exciting and frightening. You can help by familiarising your child with their new environment before school starts.
Children and Sleep - Good sleep and good moods go hand in hand for both parents and children. Yet sleep - much sought after by parents and most resisted by children - is the most frequent cause of frustration for up to 25 per cent of parents of young children.
To make sleep changes you'll need:
- To stick to bedtimes and routines in the face of heartfelt resistance
- Large amounts of patience
- Support from those around you
- Someone to take turns handling the bedtime routine, if possible
# 5 Tweens and teens (10-to 15-year-olds)
The years between ten and fifteen can be a turbulent time for everyone, with school pressures, anxieties about appearance and increasing independence, Your ability to adapt and change will be tested in the coming years as your child starts the transition to adolescence and adulthood. You may find your values rejected, and your authority challenged.
Emotional development - Making the transition from child to adolescent may be challenging and difficult. The guide book changes with puberty! Teenagers are more at risk of depression and other forms of mental and emotional difficulties than ever before - research shows that the incidence of mental illness in this age group has risen over the past generation or so, and teens are more at risk of attempted suicide than their parents were at the same age.
Keeping the lines of communication open between you and your child is an important way to ensure you can offer support, and to spot when outside or professional help is needed. Triggers for stress, leading to anxiety and depression include:
- Exam pressure or other pressure at school
- Relationship difficulties
- Concerns about sexuality
- Bullying
- Worries about their appearance and self-worth
Relationships with others - Communicating builds their self-esteem and confidence, and makes the most of your relationship. At every age children need their parents to understand how they're feeling. It's your job to make your child feel that she can talk to you about anything going on in her life. You achieve this by listening properly and not leaping in with your own judgements or constantly blaming your child.
Setting up good communication now gives you a head start for the upcoming teen years, when it will become even harder and the topics even more tricky and complicated. Unless you use the pre-teen years to open the discussion on moral issues, sex, drugs, and so on, the teen years are likely to be an endless power struggle. It's also becoming impossible to use the controlling methods that may have worked when she was younger, so effective communication is essential to gain cooperation.
By focusing on the bad side of your teen's behaviour, you could be missing out on all the good...A lot of the behaviour associated with being a teenager - wanting more freedom, challenging authority and taking risks , trying alcohol or drugs, having relationships and staying out late, are only part of the picture. Many of the negative stereotypes attached to adolescence, such as delinquency and violence, are also quite incorrect.
A few teenagers may behave in this way, but the vast majority don't.
Once your child becomes a teenager, you'll find you have an interesting companion to chat to and share ideas with. You may even discover a new zest for life from the enthusiasm and energy of your teenager - all that optimism can be infectious.
Wise parents learn to respect their children as the adults they'll soon become, while still understanding they may sometimes want to behave in a younger way.
This can be puzzling but, just as in the toddler years, your teen is torn between going all out for independence and swinging back to the familiar security of an earlier age. During stressful times, it can be all too easy to forget that inside your argumentative teenager is your tender child.
School and beyond - Be prepared for some insecurity when your child starts secondary school - it's a big step!Your child has been used to the relatively small, secure environment of primary school, where he's become a large fish in a small pond. Suddenly he's got to adjust to the large, much less personal world that is secondary school.
Teens are sometimes under a lot of pressure to perform well at school, and this can lead to anxiety and tension. That's the bad news. The good news is that young people, on the whole, are getting better results year on year.
Year ten (ages 14-15) is seen by many as a watershed. If your teen gets through this year and is still motivated, enthusiastic and working well, she's more than likely to continue doing well.
The world's changing fast - the majority of young people will be in school until they're at least 18, there are no jobs for life and your child may change career several times.
Although career choices are important for some young people, they're not a matter of life and death.
In fact, most people don't get into a settled career until their mid-20s. If your child plans to be a doctor, lawyer or other professional, it's a long haul - as it always has been. For others, though, the route is likely to be much less predictable.
But before your child starts a career, they'll probably have further and higher education to consider.
Higher education costs money, which probably means a student loan, and students increasingly take part-time, often poorly-paid jobs to generate more cash.
In terms of post-university work, employers are increasingly looking for experience as well as academic qualifications. It's as important to build a body of experience as it is to make good career choices.
When moving overseas it is absolutely essentional that you have not only medical insurance but the correct kind of medical insurance. It is always tempting to look for the cheapest possible solution for your medical insurance. After all, if you need treatment you will just fly home and have the treatment there. However, what happens if you need emergency treatment where you and cannot travel back home?
April Medibroker is here to help you - from the initial advice on what expatriate health insurance policy meets your needs, through to any assistance that you may need in the future. Our staff are only a phone call or email away. Whether you need changes to cover or payment, need help with a claim or have questions about your international medical insurance policy we will gladly help.
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